ToolKit to Keep you Socially Upward

sherlock holmes deduction toolkit
Be Like Sherlock Holmes and Deduce Your Way to Social Upward Greatness

You need a toolkit of sorts to keep you on track to socially upward greatness.

Some Context:

A contact reached out to me recently seeking some legal help to help her get some money back from a service provider. She was furious. She wanted justice. She felt ripped off. After a bit of email conversing to get her story, I laid out some of her options. More important, I let her know that she had to pay. I mean, good help isn’t free, right?

Her response…

Cricket chirps as a Tool Kit indicator

That led me to this toolkit of sorts – where you have to deduce other people’s actions and behaviour. Failing to do that, will drive you nuts. Why? Because you will waste time and energy when you could have recognized the warning signs upfront. Heed the warning signs, you save your valuable time and energy. Time and energy that you could use to build your socially upward life.¬†

Socially Upward Tool Kit – Indicators to Know About

1) Money

As the above story relates, money is a huge indicator. Are people willing to part with their money to do or back up what they SAY?

  • If you’re building a product or providing a service, have people shelled out cash for your product/service?
  • Where and how do people spend their money? Is it on booze, boobs and Netflix or is it on books and a gym membership?

2) Radio Silence

Oh, this indicator could also be called ‘crickets chirping’. What I am getting at is silence speaks volumes.

In fact as Ari Gold would say:

  • Ever texted a ‘love’ interest and got zero response? MOVE ON (don’t waste time going after someone who doesn’t want you!)
  • Do friends fail to get back to your invite? So be it. THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED. Have fun by yourself or find others.

3) Hypocrisy (aka Watch what people DO, not what they say)

People will never cease to shock me with their contradictions.

  • Going on a detox (e.g. no sugar, no salt) or a raw food diet…but SMOKE 3-4 cigarettes a day (Uh, I think smoking will take away any gains from a diet or detox
  • Talking a good game about how important their career is but bitch and moan about work-life balance or how the ‘patriarchy’ keeps you down instead of, you know, DOING THE WORK to advance!

So from this point about “Hypocrisy”, don’t take people’s words at face value. Obvious as that sounds, I am sure you have fallen for people’s sweet talk.


A) Think back to your recent dealings and experiences. Reflect on how “Money”, “Radio Silence” and “Hypocrisy” have factored in. Find the a-ha moment.

B) Don’t beat yourself up if you got fooled. Use the three indicators as your toolkit to reading people and avoiding needless wasted time and effort.

Got a story to share? Let us know in the comments section below!

Happy Summer 2017!

summer time sign
Summer is the time to let go of winter blahs

A funny thing about summer. Sometimes it can be hard to get social because summer is when people take vacations, spend more time with outdoor hobbies or take off on the weekends to their cottage.

So a challenge for you is to make sure you keep on being social, work on your projects and of course, be SOCIALLY UPWARD!

I really like Derek Siver’s self-description as a “solitary social“. ¬†Basically, if you’re introverted-ish like me (although I don’t believe in those personality tests, as I explain here), you can still be socially upward without being a loser-schmoozer.

So while all those other people are posting their inauthentic travel pics on Fake-book or wasting their time at some after-five happy hour thing, take the time to embrace the socially upward things in life.

Here are a few ways to get you started:

“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar
Isn’t it funny how people are so me-focused yet true success and HAPPINESS comes from helping others? How can you help others get what they want?

I will NOT order red snapper fish at a Japanese sushi restaurant (see Real Food, Fake Food)
Danish people figured out how to be the happiest people on earth…something about having a 33-hour average work week, embracing “Hygge” and men/women both having parental leave rights (see Year of Living Danishly)


  • Serena Ryder’s newest album is creating earworms in my brain, and for good reason, every song is awesome! I am quite partial to Electric Love but like I said, the album is full-on amazing
  • Harry Styles…sorta embarassed to admit I had no idea who this guy was but I quite like his single, Sign of the times…sounds vintage 60s pop and pensive

So with a new season, more sun and brighter colours, it’s a time to really shine for us socially upwards. Take time to breathe, enjoy the moment and of course, keep checking in at!

From Socially Awkward to Socially UPWARD